Hi there my sweet, precious, baby boy! Mama is almost
“full-term” with you. I am so excited,
nervous and in awe at the process of having you grow in my heart and soon grow
in my arms. The pregnancy has been such
a blessing. I’m 38 now and never thought
I would have more than three children and have more children after 30! I never thougth about having a “large” family
but you now have six sibilings waiting for you to arrive. Oh and I cannot tell you how excited they
are! Throughout this pregnancy, they have talked to my belly, kissed my belly,
rubbed about ten tubs of lotion on “the baby”….I can tell you that they love
you even before they have met you.
So…that means as you get older and they start to pick on you or blame
you for something that THEY did, just remember that they always have and always
will love you to pieces.
I’m not really sure how I’m feeling right now. This is so bittersweet. I know this process usually ends AND begins
very very soon. After all of the
discomfort and pain and worrisome thoughts on your health and my own-things
usually turn out well with a little bundle of joy (and sometimes lungs) in my
arms! But I know too well, there will be more tears. I know how it feels to miss you from the
inside of me. Not to have you to hold
all to myself. Yes, I’m selfish…if I
weren’t so uncomfortable I wouldn’t want to share you with the world. And truthfully I don’t think I really enjoy
the “pain” part of labor either. Ha ha
…although with soon to be seven kids you wouldn’t THINK I mind the pain
part. Ah, I know it is sooo
worthwhile. It just takes some
convincing to wrap my brain around it sometimes.
This pregnancy comes to bless our family after several early
losses. While I stick my hand to my
belly and feel a little foot prying out of my tummy I realize that all of the
heartache I endured beforehand is worthy of now getting to feel you move and
grow and seeing milestone after milestone in my pregnancy. A little over a year ago I had an incident
with my heart that scared the bejeepers out of me. I was in a deep and dark place at that
point. I can remember last year at this
time I was on my way into a concert and had to pack three or four bottles of medication
with me because I was terribly afraid I would have another “attack”. I couldn’t imagine being in this place at
this time. I just can’t believe how GOOD
GOD is for blessing our family in this way! I can’t tell you how thankful I am
for you because there really are no words.
I just hope I can live up to all of the demands of being a goody mommy
to you because you are so worthy. I have
to believe God never let me go through the heartache that I have for no
reason. I believe He was preparing my heart
and soul to be a grateful and thankful mother.
I realize how much I appreciate you and will never take you
forgranted.
This pregnancy has been an emotional one. I would say the last trimester my temper has
been running very hot and emotionally charged.
Along with a lot of crying…sometimes for no real reason! I hope that when
you are born, you will be more patient and accepting than mommy has been. I’ve been riddled with a lot of anxiety
too. Not sure where that is coming from. An influx of hormones probably? I’m hoping after you are born there is a
reprive in my symptoms because I really want to take care of you to my fullest
extent. The first trimester wasn’t too
terribly bad morning sickness wise. I
guess I can say that now that I am not in the thick of it anymore. I had the most horrid gas pains all. Of. The.
Time. I didn’t realize until later that it was par for the course with the
progesterone. GasX was my best
friend. Ha ha. And I was terribly emotional in the first
trimester too. I remember at a movie, I
had to run from the theater during a particularly gross part of the movie. It was bad enough I felt awful, and on the
way home made daddy pull off to the side of the road several times. But then dad was not being as supportive as I
thought he should be so I started crying uncontrollably. I think your brothers and sisters started
wondering if I were pregnant at that moment.
Other highlights of the first trimester were back pain, and
cramping. We had wanted to tell your
brothers and sisters you were on your way much sooner than we did at about 15
weeks, but it wasn’t in the cards. We
had planned to tell them on Valentines Day but a horrible scare occurred at
their school and we were all emotionally spent that day. So we had to wait for a more perfect day to
tell them. This was after mom and dad
went to the doctor and he declared a nice healthy looking bean was growing in
my tummy! I got to see you on an ultrasound and thought you looked like a big
long string bean …one with a beating heart!! Woohoo! I also had genetic testing
done knowing full well that it wouldn’t change my mind about how I felt about
you and found out that you had all the correct number of chromosomes. That was a relief to my mind and heart.
Mom had picked out baby and pregnancy related items from the
dollar store. I picked out a nursery
rhyme book, earplugs (for crying relief), a baby bottle, pickles, sardines (for
those crazy cravings) and Tylenol (again for crying relief). We told your sibilings that we had an extra
Valentine’s surprise to give them several days after Valentines. We gave them all of these items and to tell
you the truth they thought we had lost our minds! They politely said “thank
you”, but I could tell that they were mistified about WHY in the world they got
those items and there was an inkling of disappointment attached also. After about a half hour and daddy actually
starting to fall asleep, your big sister Emma guessed “wait, could it be that
all of these things mean you are pregnant?” The jig was up and we told the kids
that this was what we were trying to communicate. It totally didn’t sink in for some of your
brothers and sisters. Your oldest
brother said he was happy but wanted another brother….really wanted a brother. Emma seemed most excited. Morgen was excited but in disbelief. She was sweet as usual. Lauren and Edward seemed indifferent. I don’t think it mattered one way or the
other to them. Ha ha …as it shouldn’t at
their age of 5 and 2.
That was the start of my second trimester. We struggled with a way to tell our family
and daddy’s work with how happy and excited we were. We weren’t sure how the news would be
received. We finally baked up a huge
batch of pink and blue baby feet and iced them.
We sent a text saying that we hoped for one or the other in August and
then daddy took the baby feet to work.
To my surprise many of the responses were very positive that I was
pregnant with you. Daddy’s work seemed
very positive that you were coming into our lives. By that point I was feeling better with the
morning sickness, which was a huge relief.
In fact my hunger really picked up.
I believe I gained seven pounds in one month with you! At this point in
the pregnancy I have gained officially 31 lbs.
I haven’t really gained anything this month which is really strange
since I can tell you have grown a whole bunch in the last month!
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