Tuesday, September 3, 2013

EXPECTING YOU

My belly is always a source of conversation.  I have had ONE …I repeat ONE comment that I didn’t look all that big.  Ha! Some days I think I feel huge and others I look and think it’s just a healthy growing baby boy! I believe since I have a longer “torso” it makes me look bigger. I see a counselor weekly and she always says how HUGE I am! Awesome.  Ha ha.  I think you will be fairly average in size, even though my OB said at my 34 week visit you would be very big.  Yes, I think I broke down in tears that day.  I can’t even explain how I felt like I couldn’t keep going with the pregnancy.  This was a few days after my feet swelled so humungously and quickly that I had to have dad come “rescue” me from a Costco shopping trip! Oh how embarrassing.  It was even worse that I couldn’t walk for a little while after.  When I suddenly realized I had to go to the bathroom, I asked dad to help me get there.  There was no other way than for him to slide me to the bathroom on a chair.  Of course he didn’t miss any of the walls either! I believe someone tried to take a picture.  It certainly wasn’t funny, but I’m sure it was funny to them at the time.  One day I will look back and chuckle.  I had to let dad make dinner while I rested on the couch.  That was torture! I am such a “do-er”  Like today…oh my…today was  a super nesting, super clean day.  I even started tackling the dreaded “sock bucket”, which I doubt I’ve touched since January.  Ha ha.  You will come to know me as a patient mother, but also as a mommy that runs a tight ship.  I really need order in the house.  Even though I have seven children…crazy thought huh! I hope the yin and yang balance each other out.  I usually keep my cool and don’t sweat the small stuff that other people would break down and melt over, but then the little details …well, I get hung up on them.  It’s the way I am.  It’s how I wam wired.  Your uncle Andy and your Poppy are/were the same way. 
Speaking of which, I am really hoping to have a name for you soon.  I had thought of naming you Garrett, but daddy really didn’t like that name at all.  I guess my first thought was Lennon.  After John Lennon.  Just because I believe you will be calm and loving and peaceful.  (Hoping I’m right!) I don’t know how Lennon sounds with the other kids names though and a few people have suggested I call you Lemon.  Lame huh? So I came up with Mayson Annthony.  Mayson after my dearly departed grandmother Virginia May Hanway/Shepard and Annthony after daddies sweet departed mother Ann Marie Hunter.  Dad suggested Hunter but I really don’t like that name either.  Dad thinks Annthony sounds black.  Ha ha.  So if you are reading this and that is your middle name, you will know mom got her vote and perhaps people think of you as a black boy.  Geeze! If I truly had my way I would name you something like Milan or something ultra fabulous but probably a little on the feminine side.  I think this name is a great comprimise but I don’t think dad feels that way.  I understand how he feels in that he needs to “see” you and also find the “perfect” and I do mean perfect name.  I had a girls name picked out way before hand so it figures you are a boy.  LOL!
Although finding out you were a boy was a real kick in the pants.  I figured there was no way I could get lucky enough to have another boy again.  I thought your brother Eddie was a “fluke” as it was.  When we found out you were going to be a boy, your sister Emma told all of the kids in school that we were having a boy.  Most of the girls in her class said, “oh no, now you will have TWO little brothers and you know what THAT means!”  Emma looked confused and said “noo….”.  They all said “double trouble!” Ha ha …well, at first I’m sure I will agree.  Two young boys have a lot of energy! Nothing I can’t handle though.  We have Lauren and she is enough for all of us to handle as it is!
I did have several dreams that you were a boy.  I had one dream that I saw BOY written all over the clipboard at the dr.’s office.  I had a little bit of a sneaking suspicion that you could be a boy. No symptoms that were similar or not similar though.  In fact I did all kinds of chinese gender charts and old wives tale charts and they ALL said GIRL.  I have to laugh because like I said I just didn’t know that I wanted to believe you could actually be a boy.  I didn’t want to be disappointed because I would be happy either way.  Truly.  But another little boy….aw, it was just something that I dreamed about.  Literally.  I can’t tell you even how I felt about it.  Not caring but yet- well, if I had a preference….
When they did the ultrasound with your brother and turned it on to 3D ultrasound I had a very strong inclination that he was a boy by the facial features.  I was kind of hoping to tell that way with your ultrasound.  But…no…it didn’t happen.  I got a very standard ultrasound with no 3D technology.  I was so happy you seemed to be measuring well and seemed to have all of your parts and no area’s of concern.  That was my biggest fear honestly! Seeing you wiggle all around inside of me was so cute.  I still wasn’t feeling regular kicks and pokes and prods at that point, so seeing the kicks and cute little things you were doing inside of me was precious.  But dad and I were disappointed that we didn’t get the better ultrasound.  I was thinking of paying for a special one to do 3D but then I wondered how much I wanted to know about your features before your birth.  I did want to leave a little to suspense also.  I love day-dreaming of what you will look like and I worried that if I went too far…I might not have anything to motivate me on delivery day! So we didn’t get a three dimensional ultrasound.  But at my next doctors appointment the doctor was runnning very very late. I was already upset because I had to go all the way downtown for the appointment and it was a very short and rushed appointment.  The doctor didn’t even measure me.  I was about 28 weeks at that point.  I don’t mind waiting but I hate that I was so rushed.  Still, I didn’t complain but I thought about never going back in again! The doctor actually said I got a free picture for being so patient and waiting, so he turned on the ultrasound machine and gave me some 3D photo’s of you.  My heart grew and grew at that point! I can’t tell you WHAT the smile on my face looked like, only that I know it was there for a very long time! I could see the features on your face and honestly you looked a little like your older brother.  I fell in love with you all over again.  The bonding experience those pictures gave to me were priceless! And thankfully, I got the ultrasound photo’s AFTER we knew your gender.  And yes, the doctor checked again and declared you were still a BOY! What a wonderful appointment after all!
I didn’t know when I would get to know your gender though.  First off I didn’t get the ultrasound until about 22ish weeks.  We had planned on a gender party in your honor where we revealed your gender to family and friends and ourselves all at once.  A very popular thing to do I guess these days.  I thought it would be the perfect way to celebrate you and my pregnancy without asking for “gifts” like in a baby shower.  Not that I’m OPPOSED to gifts…just that I wanted there to be little pressure.  We had to plan the party for the weekend because we thought more people could be off from work to come to it during the weekend.  But then something terrible happened and the day we had your ultrasounds (your daddy fell asleep in the ultrasound room and Emma had to KICK him to get him to wake up! I was so mad!) Your daddy at church with the kids while I did my usual relax (aka-catch up on things that need done) night.  And he called to tell me your grandma Ann Marie was found in her nursing home and was unresponsive.  My heart did a little panick.  I knew things didn’t sound good.  Daddy prayed for the best possible outcome while he was at church that night.  He had a lot of support from church members thankfully.  And then the call came that his mother had passed away.  I was so deeply hurt for your father.  I knew how much your grandmother meant to him and how much a mother means to a child (even a grown child).  I didn’t understand how such a happy day at the ultrasound, and finding out you were healthy could turn into such a horrible day with such tragic news.  Your grandmother had been ill for a while.  She was nearly only 70 years old when she passed away.  She lived a very interesting life and raised five children.  It was a bittersweet type of day for sure.  The funeral was scheduled for that weekend and I knew immediately even if it hadn’t been scheduled for that weekend that we wouldn’t have the gender party that weekend.  How could we go on with “life” as normal and try to smile through our pain?  I put the reveal party out a few weeks.  Daddy said I didn’t have to…it was even a little soon to do it then.  It was just killing some of your sibilings not to know your gender.  But, we needed to grieve first and foremost.  So by the time we found out your gender I was probably 25 weeks and got asked OFTEN what you were and when I said I didn’t know people thought I was “crazy” for not having found out yet.  Ha ha ha

The gender party went well.  It was starting to warm up and we hosted it at Settler’s Park.  We had pink and blue food items and things that were “baby” sized.  The kids had so much fun decorating a box that would contain either a blue or pink boquet of balloons dependant upon your gender.  We had “little smokies, baby burgers, pink and blue punch, strawberries and blueberries….it was so much fun! Oh and not to forget pink and blue cupcakes.  Those were devoured.  Guests wore pink or blue lei’s depending on what they thought the baby would be.  Most wore pink! I wore blue (for the record).  When dad and I prepared to open the box, I could see a little bit of pink through the hole in the top of the box.  I have to admit I wasn’t trying to peek, but it was noticable.  I felt a wave of disappointment run through me and then guilt.  I had been rather sure in my heart- maybe not yet my mind-that you were a boy! We opened the box and out floated pink balloons.  Everyone cheered and then a little tiny blue balloon trailed alongside the pink balloons.  I thought “what in the world?”  Apparently Pam and Gary had tried to load the box so that the pink and blue would float out together and he would say “there goes the pink balloons meaning there goes your chance of having a girl”.  But the trick didn’t exactly go that way and I stood there saying “what in the world does this mean?!”  Pam was disappointed it didn’t work and felt awful about the situation.  I kept wondering if it meant I was having TWINS! **faint!*** No, it finally registered….I WAS HAVING A BOY!!! Yahoooo! I screamed so loud that the kids were actually holding their ears.  It was a scream of excitement and joy! I don’t know if I acted inappropriately, ha ha  but I was so excited. And …well, I still am!

ABOUT 34 WEEKS!
IT'S A GIRL!!!

NO...IT'S A BOY!!
EVERYONE PATIENTLY AWAITING THE REVEAL

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