Tuesday, September 3, 2013

PREGNANCY RAMBLINGS

If you don’t believe how excited I am, you should see your wardrobe so far.  I keep hoping you will come soon because I keep buying you more and more clothes.  I’ve been told “shame on you” because I should have clothes from Eddie.  I have put those clothes into rotation for you.  Even some from Emma and William (a little unisex GAP outfit) but like I’ve told dad…you need your own stuff too.  You don’t have to have total hand-me-downs.  I’m super picky too! Oh my..I typically don’t buy anything with animals on it.  Too icky cutesy. I have bought you a few frog items and I think one monkey item, but most of your stuff is football or basketball.  Tonight I found a skeleton newborn sleeper and got so impressed that I will have a newborn for Halloween! We bought a green and white striped onsie with green pants and a frog cap for your going home outfit.  I’m getting worried if you stay inside too much longer you won’t get to wear all of the summer outfits I bought you.  I thought you would be here sooner than now (at almost 37 weeks) I wouldn’t mind being 38 weeks with you though.  I dunno about going further than that…I’m afraid you could get too big! I thought that about Edward too though.  I’m sure you will be just fine and get to wear all of those cute newborn items I picked out.  Which …there is a LOT!
I started preparing the room and the contents as well as your crib and bouncy ect. at about 32 weeks.  I knew that if I waited too late that if I had to go on bedrest or something it would become tricky anyway.  I couldn’t trust daddy or someone else to prepare for you! So here I’ve been ready for months now.  I also packed the “hospital” bag at about 34 weeks.  I keep finding things to take.  Like last night I decided that lavendar oil might help me in delivery to be calmer.  When I was having contractions it seemed to help anyway….so I put that on top.  I hate taking too much because you have to bring it all home and put it all away! I learned that tip and trick when I was pg with your sister Camille! The most important items not to forget are the video camera, camera, and your baby book.  The baby book is perfect for your footprints.  I have to have them! And the camera and video camera are important in documenting your birth! I don’t know if you will want to watch your birth when you are older, but I think it’s amazing to watch.  I learned that one from your sister Emma! Emma is the only sibiling that you have that doesn’t have a birth video.  She was coming too fast and she was three weeks early so I wasn’t prepared.  I feel sad that I don’t have a birth video of her now because we watch the video’s frequently on birthdays.  I hope you aren’t speedy speedy and that we at least capture the birth on film.
I keep having a dream that you will be born at home or in the car or something awful like that! I don’t know which is worse…to sit in that hospital room and feel nervous and anxious and concede to an epidural or to think that I could have you in the car! I don’t like either scenerio honestly, but the plan is to stay away from the hospital as long as possible so that I don’t have an epidural.  I think it’s healthier for you and I both.  We will see though.  I may decide different when the time comes! In fact, as I sit here and think about it, I realize that just like in most pregnancies I am completely unaware of how this will all “go”, and there are many different routes labor and delivery can take and most of those routes are really out of my control.  That’s hefty for me to admit…that something may not be in my control…This is where I lean on God-our Heavenly Father and His plan for me and for you.  I know He has plans not to harm us but for us to prosper, so I can only believe that everything will turn out as it should.  Considering becoming pregnant with you was a leap of faith to begin with.  I had so many problems with your brother, Edwards delivery that I seriously sighed so bodly that I was DONE and was so glad that I wasn’t pregnant anymore after his birth…and yet here I am again! I’m okay with that though because I don’t feel like it is “destined” to be difficult.  I trust in God and just hope that he guides me through whatever we have to go through to get you to earth safely!

My biggest craving this pregnancy has been watermelon, cherries and anything sweet! So much so that we thought you were a girl just because of the cravings! I have also been known to throw back a donut, cherry pie, cheesecake, snowcone, ice cream, soda and other lucious items like that! I craved much different items when I was pregnant with the other kids.  Your sibilings have said that they love to go to the store with me because they can talk me into buying sweet treats so easily simply because I’m pregnant and craving sweets! I sure hope this means you will be a sweet little boy! Or…you will be a BIG boy! Ha ha…I was eating gluten free before I became pregnant with you, but that had to change until I became more accustomed to morning sickness.  I found that during my second trimester gluten didn’t seem to affect me as much as normally.  I will be gluten free again after you are born more than likely.  I feel a little bad because I feel like I certainly could have eaten better during this pregnancy.  Not having gained too terribly much weight is a good sign, and I am not eating chili cheese dogs every day like I did in my very last pregnancy (yes, really!) but I have been a tad bit of a garbage disposal since the middle of pregnancy.  I tried very hard in the first half of pregnancy to drink less soda and eat less sugars, but that sorta started to go out the window (as I sit here looking at my glass of Pepsi and bowl of Dorito’s chips).  I don’t understand women that don’t have pregnancy cravings because that is how my body functions is one craving to the next! Don’t get me wrong though, I try very hard to make sure a lot of our food is “cleaner” and healthier but I can see where I have gotten off track somewhat.  If I have the choice to pay more for less of say HFCS, then I will…and I try to do whole grains with tons of fiber.  I love Kashi Berry Fruitful cereal and it has been a constant craving for me.  I try to eat non-GMO foods and tons of fresh fruits and veggies.  In fact we have a pretty impressive garden this year.  I will admit that since planting it on Mother’s Day (with the help of your sibilings) I have been neglecting it to a certain extent.  Well…more than usual anyway.  But we continue to pull zuchini and cucumbers and anticipate the first of heirloom tomato’s to ripen! I love gardening and probably always will.  I can’t wait until I have my grand-children next to me to get excited over my “pumpkin farm”.  

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