I don't know how much of this I can write. Currently you lay next to me sucking your pacifier and I'm expecting a blow up at any time. You have been sleeping a lot today because yesterday you didn't want to sleep for the life of you. Ha ha ...I guess if it even's out...Still, we all got up at six am, so get a free McDonalds breakfast that it ends up wasn't even happening today but yesterday. Ugh, Can I tell you how hard it is to get up and get seven kids out of the house and dressed, with chores done and on the road in time to make it to school? It was insane, but I stopped and got donuts instead. The donuts were good but ugh, made my stomach hurt. I think I was constipated. LOL. I'm thinking about moving away from carbs and more towards protein and less sugars. I'm hoping to stabilize moods and lose some weight...for me and the kids and daddy even. We consume so much sugars lately. I know it's not good and I think I'm pretty knowledgable about nutrition and health. I would say I know more than the average person. But...I haven't been practicing what I preach. So...we are going to change that!
I just got done singing some songs to you in my arms. I could see the glint of some of your hair only a mere shadow from the light of the computer screen. I sung just fragments of songs because when it comes to singing lullabies I just suck. Yes I do. I can sing along to lots of songs but then when I have to come up with something on my own...I fail miserably. Sorry , one of these days you will probably go to sing your own kids a lullaby and your wife will have to notify you that you are singing the words all kinds of wrong and you will say "but that's how my mom always sung it" and your wife will have to notify you that you are totally mistaken.
Today was another crazy day. After the breakfast fiasco, we went to the park a little since the younger kids couldn't be at school so early yet. Then I went home and tried to get a few photos for Lauren's school scrapbook project. Of course I opened the refrigerator door because I had forgotten to take my medicine earlier and smelled something really vile, so I started cleaning out he refrigerator. Then I noticed I would probably have to go to the store for laundry detergent so I decided I would need a bra for that. I went upstairs to get a bra and realized I had forgotten about downloading the pictures and you and brother were still patiently waiting for me in the car! Ugh!! So I went and got you both from the car and became completely consumed in photos.
Brother played with cars and was a really good boy while you slept nearby in your carseat. I could not believe how much had happened over the last five years since your sister Lauren was born! Well, for one...I really DO look older. Or maybe it takes more effort. I don't know what it is but I was thinking that I looked pretty good...er...I think I looked much better at 33. Sigh. Anyway, I couldn't believe this was the third house we were living in. I was remembering all that happened last summer at Burney Glen. I was remembering the pregnancy with your brother Edward and all of the things we did that summer. I was looking over Upward and football and thinking how much I miss the kids being in sports this year. Maybe I just miss Upward and the families. I was looking over all of the birthday parties and celebrations and holidays. I was looking at photo's of family....most of them gone now. Your grandmother Ann and two of your great grandmothers. Oh how I wish they could have seen you. I was glad we got to tell your grandma Ann that your were coming. Wow, that's been so hard on daddy. I just feel for him so much. I was looking at the photos and thinking how much relationships had changed. I guess the thing that struck me the most was that we always looked like our family was having fun in the photos. I know we fight and bicker and have "issues" with our relationships in our family but the honest to goodness truth is I think that we love each other and have a good time together and maybe even some of the time respect for each other.
I had "back to school" or "meet the teachers" or something like that tonight. Yeah me! Blech! I wasn't going to even attempt to go because honestly I don't care what the teachers have to say. LOL. I mean, two hours of going over what the teachers expect? I'm sure I won't be able to conform to begin with. I have seven kids and to be honest some shit just isn't going to get done on occasion. I mean, we will be diligent and try our hardest to accomplish things but my theory is that my kids are gone all day from me and I don't think they need an extra hour or two of "homework" on top of working all day. There is so much "riff raff" in public schools. I don't value education the way my husband and some of my friends do. I take "mental health days" and if my kids have a day that they have to go to the doctor, I'm sorry but I don't think I should have to have an excuse from the doctor to PROVE why they were gone! Its such bullshit. Of course I wish I could be homeschooling anyway but that is a different post. So I made it to the last half hour and the only reason I went was to see some artwork that Morgen had done. I told her beforehand I might not make it but I was glad I got to see the artwork she did. I was sad because I knew how much more enrichment the kids were getting at Pioneer. I really have to decide what we are doing here. Probably before October. I have to have a sit down with myself and the reality of thinking about going back to Pioneer and if I would be confusing my kids and if it would really be more work for me or not. I just don't know....Anyway, I came home from "meet the teacher night" with a gob more paperwork to sign. As if I haven't already filled out those silly pieces of paper with my kids names, birthdates and tons of other information that they should already have and really don't NEED. ugh. I was glad I got to see Morgen's Superhero. ha ha.
Tomorrow is breastfeeding class. I am looking forward to it to see if you have gained weight. I hope you have! I'm not really anxious about it but it would be nice to prove everybody wrong that my supply is so low that I'm not able to feed you. I know you have tons of wet diapers and you poop like a pooping machine! ha ha. I think it's okay if it takes a little bit longer to get you chunky. Breastfed babies aren't always chunky. My kids are usually on the smaller side anyway (you wouldn't know that from looking at William and Emma!) But I also like the time alone with you where I don't get interrupted for the zillionth time and have to scream down the hall at someone while you look at me wide eyed with a nipple in your mouth. I think I appreciate all of my kids just a little bit more when I don't have them for a few hours. I love being with my kids and hanging out with them and being a mommy. I wouldn't change that for the world, but it's fun to let all of the kids leave while I have time for just you!
Thinking of you, I found a cute little "Thumper" toy at the store today. It was so weird because I don't have a lot of money and don't go into the toy section normally just to "look". There sitting on a clearance shelf, all by itself was a little baby toy Thumper the rabbit. It was really odd because I've never actually seen a Thumper toy before and there were no others anywhere to be found. Just the one. I had to buy it for Christmas for you. I was thinking it was as unique as you.
Well I promised short and sweet. So here we are several hours later. I could keep going but you have woken several times and daddy is here and I still have school info to fill out (dread) and I'm exhausted. So maybe it wasn't so short and sweet after all.
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