Wow, it's been about a month. Didn't even get to post about Mayson's three month birthday! Boo. It's just been really crazy busy. Busy busy busy. I make it all seem effortless and like I haven't even one grey hair. Do you know how much hair color I buy in a month anyway?
Well, except that I don't think the kids school thinks I have it all together. Those sweet kids were late to school again today. Oops. It is just the mechanics of it all. Right now I am driving William to the school and then coming back and resuming to get the rest of us ready. Thankfully Camille's bus stop isn't far. But then I feel bad that she has to walk in such bitter cold. I'm kind of more like a hippy mom in that really I'm not completely offended if my kids are late a fourth of the time. In fact I feel pretty damn good about myself if my kids are THERE 3/4 of the time. Don't get me wrong. I think education is super duper important. This is why I travel to such great lengths and make painstaking decisions of where to place my kids for schools. I don't think our kids have ever just went to the "neighborhood school". I guess some people would look at it as a control thing but it isn't. I really do want the BEST for my kids.....and speaking of which right now they are getting ANYTHING but that.
I am constantly fighting with the schools here in Meridian. I've begged Chad for us to move. I hate that Camille is in counseling because she hates school so much. I hate that the other kids reminisse about their old school and talk about "bullies" galore at the new school. I hate that I am literally fighting day after day to get anything done. I know I'm being talked into something I shouldn't be going for. The teachers all act like it is their JOB to protect their asses. No...your job is to teach my child! It's BEYOND frustrating. And yes, oh yes, I am complaining. I am literally considering homeschooling them all. Wouldn't that be interesting. Camille is open to the idea. The middle girls would probably warm up to the idea....William would be mortified. Well, except that he got to sleep in. I already learned it's difficult for me to be his mom and his teacher. We don't connect that way. I think we could if I had more time to spend individually with him but that isn't going to happen. I don't know what we will do. I am seriously considering a move. I want to move out of state and have a one year commitment to 'try something new". I want to move to a new state or even country. I hate Idaho. At least I think I do. I think right now is the perfect time for us to give it a try. It's hard to push my husbands hand with anything though. Sigh. If he only knew my system and what I dealt with each . and every. day! He would want something to change then too.
Thanksgiving really took a lot of efforts this year. Because we hosted at our house, I feel like all of the Christmas stuff got delayed. I'm so horribly feeling grinchy this year. I swear, I could care less about the smell of the fresh pine in our living room that sits half decorated because we got too tired to finish it. The lights outside? Oh they are interesting. It think a trailer park display would look less clusterfucked. But, I digress...I have some of the shopping done. Black Friday was a nightmare this year too. I went with the kids, which wasn't so bad, but Chad stayed home while I was out late late. And only fed Mayson one ounce of a bottle, so then he wanted to nurse all night. Yeesh! I wasn't too "into" the idea of hosting Thanksgiving the more it started to get nearer. I think there was really just too much going on in our lives. But we pulled it off. I have no idea what to do with Christmas. I cannot tell you what fun it is to go to the mall with little baby, toddler and kindergartener and try to make sure that you not only don't kill one of them or leave one of them (on purpose) but that you are back at school again for a few more kids that are waiting for you. Everyone is also sick. That's fun stuff. And dealing with some issues of my own...gosh..Chad decided on his own to sleep on the couch. Good riddance. That Old Man is tired because he chose to stay up until like four am watching television ...oh and putting together a train set. Sooooo frustrating.
So yeah, we didn't make it to several "traditions" this year. I don't know that we will be able to make up most of them. The trains, the Festival of Tree's, gun shooting...it's all too cold, or too late to try to pull any of those off. I've tried taking the kids with me to a few Christmas show's to get them more in the spirit and that backfired on me. They could just care less....and actually in the scheme of things I begin to wonder..."why?" Why in the world do I try to force things when our family is changing and evolving? We aren't the family of 2.5 kids that are under 5 years old that still gets into things like looking at Christmas lights in the car. No. Now we are the family of 9 (and perhaps counting) that are packed into the car like a bunch of sardines. The kids ripping each others hair out. The older kids are all emersed in their I-whatevers so that they are basicly just warm bodies taking up room in the car. It's weird because when we threaten that they are being brats and won't get to go do something, they act as though they WANT to be with us....well...mostly. But then they really don't act like they want to be there when they are there. Aw well...the nice thing I guess is that however tragic it all feels-we are all together. And that is something not many families can say. A lot of kids, particularly older kids don't or wont' really hang out as a family. So that's something. I suppose!
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